Health

Don’t Be This Guy at the Gym (9 Photos)

Men of all types fall into the same trap of displaying stereotypical ‘alpha’ behaviour when they hit the gym – and they all only serve to detract from a man’s allure

Wear Spandex

Suburban Men

You should be a professional athlete with body fat index less than 8 % if you want to wear spandex. Or you need to have an unbelievably good looking body. Otherwise you just look ridiculous.

Mirror Posing

Suburban Men

You know when you do that thing where you lift your top a little to show your 6-pack to ‘yourself’ in the gym mirror? Or that adorable bicep or tricep tense that you perform just to see how much your muscles have developed? Well, don’t fool yourself: we know what you’re doing. And it’s kind of sad.

Dropping Weights

Suburban Men

This fabulous habit generally goes hand in hand with the loud grunting, and it’s no less annoying. Dropping weights from a great height makes one hell of a clatter – but more to the point it’s also pretty dangerous.

Be the Person Who Sweats Everywhere

Suburban Men

Everyone hates following the Creature from the Black Lagoon when using Nautilus equipment. You lay down and immediately start to stick to the machine. Then the stench of a hundred sweat soaked human beings wafts into your nose and makes you seriously contemplate buying a Bowflex. Just bring a towel and wipe down the equipment after you are done. It’s not time consuming or difficult. Even for someone who is obviously some sort of swamp monster.

Inappropriate Commenting on Girls

Suburban Men

Yes, this does happen; no, it’s not nice. Just because we may be wearing tight clothing that strains rather as we squat, deadlift and lunge, you do not have free licence to comment upon it. You may see this as gym-style flirting, but we see it as rudeness. Stop

Grunting

Suburban Men

The sound of a rhinoceros that has just gone into labor with twins is never sexy. Especially when the sound is coming from a sleeveless human being trying to “maximize his pump” by doing 5 more reps on the squat thrust. Now, I understand that there will be grunting and words of encouragement shouted at any gym that you exercise in. That’s totally cool, because people need to be able to use some sort of release when benching or pushing themselves to the limit physically. But sending out shrieks of anger that sound like two rabid gorillas mating at the zoo is both disturbing and unnecessary.

Taking a Selfie, Anywhere, Anytime

Suburban Men

We’re in the era of the selfie. It’s usually women who are the biggest offenders for this, but don’t be surprised if you see a well-chiselled guy doing the same thing. Little else needs to be said about this type of person – they’re always on their phone and usually donning the latest designer exercise gear. Most of the time they’ll be in your way as they pose for their phone and without trying to stereotype, there’s a big chance that they are loud, abrasive and just downright annoying as well.

Unrequested Advice

Suburban Men

Guys, I beg you, unless the lady in question is doing something that may cause her an injury (think squatting or deadlifting incorrectly), or specifically asks your advice, leave her alone. Particularly if you don’t really know what you’re talking about. We know you’re trying to help, or make conversation, but it comes across as a bit condescending, annoying and unhelpful.

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Greg Baugher

Bacon is always the answer. Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football. I have friends in spite of myself. Probably the best meat eater in the world. Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging. Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.

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